It has been a very long time since I last wrote to you and for that, am truly sorry. I tremble when imagining that the lack of communication may have caused you to think that I no longer care about you. I would understand if you feel that way. I want you, however, to know that I still love you, even though I haven't proven it in the recent past.

The answer as to why I've been, as of late, distant from you will begin to unfold as you read the story of a relationship that once graced my life.

Sweet lady, many years ago I met a woman who loved me to a degree that I could never have imagined possible. And, Scotland, she taught me how to recognize true love in its most pure form. I'd always thought, before meeting her, that I knew everything about love, but I really didn't. This remarkable woman showed me what I had been missing and how to reach out and express the essence of my heart. She taught me so much, dear Scotland, so very much.

Our union, however, was not to remain permanent and so one day she walked off into the rest of her life and left me in search of my own destiny. But, before she bid farewell, she said with all possible gentleness, "I know you believe that you will never love again, but you are wrong, so very wrong. You have learned about love and the truth of your heart. You will miss me, but your eyes are open and you will, once again, find love and it will be all that you so richly deserve."

Scotland, for the longest time, I chose to ignore her message of compassion and insight. Instead of heeding her words, I became a terribly lonely and deeply sad person. I didn't want to look for love. I didn't want to think about anyone other than her. I felt that to do otherwise would be to denigrate the memories of what had been.

As the years went by, she almost became a fantasy to me and there were times when I dreamt that the lady hadn't been real at all. I reasoned that I had so wanted a person like her to enter my life that she might have only been a figment of my imagination.

Those were painful times, but somehow easier to cope with than realizing that she had been real and that I could never touch her again. To have been granted the passionate company of such a vision of loveliness and then forced to return to a life only coddled by memories of the lady was more than I could bear. I wept, Scotland, I wept rivers of tears. My eyes remained closed for so very long.

I'll never wish to or be able to forget about what was once a miracle to me, but, my dear lady, one day I did awaken from my cocoon of loneliness. On that day, I opened my eyes and recognized precious love when it was offered to me. And oh, the beauty of that love was as stunning and pristine as the first gentle snowfall of the majestic wonder that is winter.

Scotland, as you know, I have spent a lifetime dreaming of being caressed by you. I have, for so very long, fantasized about the future that we would share and the realization that once we met, we'd never be apart again. I have always believed that my heart was yours forever and that I must be by your side in order to fulfill my destiny and revel in the beauty of love.

Just as I bathed in the refusal to believe that I would, following the departure of the lady of my past, find love again, I have long allowed a mist to blur my eyes to the beauty that surrounds me outside of your shores. I knew that no other could possibly satisfy the needs of my heart. Yes, I have dabbled in the enjoyment of observing the natural gifts of my own land, but have always chosen to commit my love to you.

But now, dear Scotland, the possibility that we may never meet has caused my vision to clear and allow me to revel in the magnificence of my surroundings. I am finally able to cherish all that I can see, touch, smell, and hear. They are miraculous gifts, so very miraculous.

If, one day, I am blessed to visit with you, our time together will be so very exquisite, but I will know that my heart will return home with me. The lady who taught me so much about love didn't, when she left my side, take my heart with her. It was always to remain with me just as it will if you and I should meet.

So you see, Scotland, I have, during my absence of contact with you, been spending time with another lady of great beauty. That lady is my home and I cherish her so very dearly. From a distance, I remain embraced by you. Now, however, I am also embraced by what I have neglected for a very long time.

With great love,
Gary

I would love to hear from you. My readers are very important to me and I answer each and every email. My contact is Gary.

You can find more articles in the archive under Reflections on a Dream