Following my emergence from puberty, my voice settled into a rather resonant tone and pitch. Over the ensuing years, I was constantly complimented on my apparently attention-grabbing voice. Many people would say, “You really ought to consider becoming a radio announcer!” Others would gush, “Oh, you would make a wonderful minister!” Still others said, “Oh my! You should be a professional speaker. You have a beautiful and commanding voice!”

I thought, “Yes, they are right! After all, I am the offspring of a professional announcer and speaker. I’ll just bet I’ve learned all I need to know about this business just by having been around my father all these years. In fact, I’m probably already a gifted speaker. Yep,” I deluded myself into thinking, “I am a gifted speaker and my fortune-bearing ship has just come in! All right, audiences of the world, get ready! Here I come!”

The following is a telling of how my first three speeches came to be and were received:

1) “You Got the Wrong Girl!”

When I was living in Montreal, my best friend, Andrew, and I would often go on double dates. The routine was always the same. We’d start off the evening by going to a local theater and watch a movie. Following a showing of the film, we’d end up a local disco (yes, this was during the late 70’s).

The next day, Andrew would ask, “Gary, what did you think of her (his date for the evening)?”

I’d respond, “Andrew, I couldn’t talk with her during the movie and it was so loud inside of the disco that I failed to hear anything she said. Oh, but she’s very pretty, Andrew, and I’m sure she’s a nice woman.”

On one particular evening, Andrew’s partner was a young lady named Monika. My companion, Sharon, and I really enjoyed Monika’s company, although neither of us was able to learn much about her due to the necessary absence of conversation in the movie theater and the noise level in the disco.

Eventually, Andrew and Monika decided to get married. I was thrilled for them, especially since I had become very close to Andrew’s bride to-be.

A few weeks before the big day, Monika asked if I would give a testimonial speech for her during the wedding reception. I was only too pleased to accept the offer. Here was my chance to prove my amazing public speaking abilities! Yes, I was going to be a huge success!

When the moment of my grand debut arrived, I, with my carefully prepared speech in hand, strode up to the podium. My level of self-confidence was remarkable and I knew I was really going to wow the 500 guests (including my girlfriend, Sharon).

“Ladies and gentleman,” I said, “Monika is like a sister to me and I dearly love her. I’ve felt this way about her for a long time, but didn’t know what to make of Monika the first time we met. You see, Sharon, my girlfriend, and I went on a double date with Andrew and Monika. We went to see, “Saturday Night Fever,” and thoroughly enjoyed the movie, but couldn’t talk with Monika during the film.

Then we went to “La Nuit Disco” where the music was so loud that we couldn’t hold a conversation.” Monika looked very nice, but that is all I remembered about her the next day.”

The audience enjoyed my cute little story and suddenly I knew that I was a hit!

Throughout the remainder of the speech, I spoke very eloquently about Monika and how dearly I had come to regard her. My words were so full of love and sentiment that there didn’t seem to be a dry eye in the room while I was speaking. At one point, I turned towards Monika and noted that tears were streaming down her cheeks. Gosh, I was so good at this speech-delivering stuff! A star had indeed been born!

Following a rapturous round of applause, I returned to my table. Sharon was still crying as she said, “Oh, Gary, you were wonderful! That was such a beautiful speech, but…but…well, you made a mistake.”

“What?” I asked. “Did I speak too quickly? Hmm, I’m going to have to work on that!”

“No, that wasn’t it. Gary, you got the wrong girl! That first night with Monika, we watched, ‘The Pink Panther Returns,’ not ‘Saturday Night Fever.’ And, we didn’t go to La Nuit Disco, we ended up at La Musique dans Chambre.”

I thought, “Oh my God, I’m dead. Andrew and Monika are going to kill me! This is their wedding and I blew the speech.”

Within two minutes, Andrew took me aside and said, “You…you…you…damn, Gary, you got the wrong girl. You talked about the evening we spent with Suzanne! Now look, if you ever tell Monika about your mistake, I’ll…I’ll….”

“I never will, Andrew. Oh, I’m so sorry, I’m really sorry.”

After Andrew had marched off, Monika suddenly appeared in front of me. I was ready for a blizzard of…well, something not very nice.

To my surprise, Monika beamed, ”That was a beautiful speech. Look at me, I’m still crying. And you know, I had almost forgotten about the first time I met you, but now that I think about it, we did watch Saturday Night Fever that night and then we had a wonderful time at La Nuit Disco! Thank you for helping me to remember that evening.”

That was how my first speech went.

2) The Pillars are Falling Down!

About 15 months after the wedding speech fiasco, I was living in Chicago (no, Andrew hadn’t demanded that I depart Canada) and working for Dollar Car Rental.

One day, my boss called me into his office. Upon my arrival, he said, “Gary, I’d like you to give a short speech, regarding sales development in the mid-west, at our upcoming annual convention. You’ve got a great voice and I know you’ll do a wonderful job. By the way, have you ever given a speech before?”

“Um…er…yes, sir, but that was a long time ago and I…well, I’d be pleased to give a speech at the convention.” I wasn’t about to tell him about the wedding disaster oratory.

Two weeks later, I was sitting in my room at Caesar’s Palace in the exciting city of Las Vegas. 500 Dollar Car Rental franchisees were also ensconced in the elaborate hotel, along with the entire executive group of the company.

The next morning, at 9:00, I was to deliver a brief speech outlining Dollar’s sales efforts in the mid-west. I was nervous, but knew that as long as I didn’t have to talk about Monika, I would do just fine and finally emerge as a consummate speaker.

As time went by, however, my state of anxiety climbed into the stratosphere and I found myself living in fear of bombing on stage. This thought kept me so agitated that I decided to forego eating dinner, that evening. My brain responded by stating, “Fine, if you’re not going to feed your body, I’m not going to let you sleep tonight!” My brain won.

The next morning, five minutes before my speech was to be presented, I stood in the wings of the hotel’s Grande Salon and peeked out at the mass gathering of Dollar Car Rental franchisees. They seemed to be in a good mood. That was a positive sign. “Yes,” I thought, “they will love me. I’m sure they will. Ha, ha!” I silently chided my brain. “See, and you thought that I’d bomb! Not a chance!”

Then, I took a bleary-eyed look at the head table where every one of the company’s executives sat with crossed arms (yes, they all crossed their arms in the same manner. That’s an executive thing). For a moment, I wondered if they could hear the constant rumbling of my empty stomach, but suddenly something else was of much greater concern to me. The inside of my mouth was drier than all of the world’s deserts rolled into one.

“Oh no!” I silently yelled. “What am I going to do?”

I turned my head and spied a soft drink machine nestled against a staircase wall. I instantly fumbled in my pocket for some change and then raced for the dispenser. Quickly, I selected a can of Coke, popped it open, and then downed three huge swigs of the liquid. The sand dunes inside of my mouth were now quite wet.

The company president said, “And now, I’d like to introduce Gary Dobson. He is one of our best salespeople and would like to tell you about our progress in the mid-west.”

As I walked up to the microphone, I gazed about the room for an instant. It was quite a sight! As is the case with the entire hotel, this room looked like a replica of ancient Rome. It was a very opulent, but garish spectacle, complete with massive pillars on either side of the stage.

There was no time for additional sightseeing, thus I laid out my speech on the top of the lectern and smiled down at my boss. “Yes siree,” I thought, you will be so impressed!” My brain cackled, “No, he won’t.”

I wet my lips, took a quick look at the first page of my speech and then opened my mouth. Instead of warmly stating “Good morning, everyone,” the loudest and most rumbling burp you could ever imagine blasted forth. As I looked at the horrified faces of Dollar’s executives, the pillars on the side of the stage seemed to shake and shudder. I thought, “Oh my God, they are going to fall down and everyone will be killed.”

The echoes of my burp reverberated off the walls for what seemed to be an eternity.

When I finished my speech, I received a good ovation, but decided that it was probably time to begin looking for another job.

3) Thith ith Horrible! It Really ith.

Two years after coming extremely close to destroying the Grande Salon of Caesar’s Palace, I miraculously convinced a very well known fast food franchisor to hire my services as a one-time keynote speaker.

“Ah yes,” I thought, during the week prior to my debut as a professional speaker, “this is my big break and am finally on the road to stardom! This time, everything will go well. I won’t be talking about Monika. I won’t be performing in a room festooned with symbols of ancient Rome and I most certainly won’t drink any carbonated beverages before taking to the stage!”

Three days prior to the big event, I decided to visit my dentist. I had been dealing with a rather sensitive tooth and it was now time to take care of the problem.

Within minutes of arriving at my dentist’s office, I was sitting in the chair of terror (I have a morbid fear of the art of dentistry). My dentist said, “Gary, now that I’ve filled that little cavity, I’d like to put crowns on two of your front teeth. It is a good time to do it. And, Gary, the good news is that I can make the crowns big enough to fill in that gap between your two front teeth. You’ll look terrific!”

“Um, okay, Dr. Walters. I know it’ll be worth the pain. I’d love to have that gap filled in. Take your best shot (that was a silly thing to say to a dentist).”

Two hours later, I was gazing in delight at the reflection of my smile beaming back at me from my bathroom mirror. “Wow,” I thought, “this is wonderful! The space between my teeth is gone and I look…well, fantastic!”

I then exclaimed out loud, “Thith ith wonderful. I am tho pleathed.” A searing stab of horror ripped through my brain. “Oh my God,” I thought, “what has happened to me? Oh no! Oh, no! This can’t be the way I’ll talk from now on!”

A glimmer of reason finally set in as I said, “Well, thith muth juthe be the effetthes of the novathaine. Ith’ll wear off and I’ll be juthe fine.”

The next morning, following a sleepless night, I opened my mouth and exclaimed, “Thurly I’m okay now. Thith wath a…Oh no! Itthes thtill here!”

I reached for the phone and called Dr. Walters.

“Dr. Waltherth, “I cried, “My voithe ith ruined. Ith ith ruined. Help me!”

He replied in a very soothing manner, “Gary, you’re not used to talking without that space between your front teeth. Don’t worry. You’ll be fine in a few days.”

“But, Dr. Waltherth, I’ve goth to give a sththpeeth on Friday. Oh pleathe tell me. Will I be allthright by then?”

“Yes, you should be fine.”

Well, the day I was to give my speech arrived and I still found myself saying, “Thithe ith horrible! I’m going to thound like Daffy Duck on theroidth.”

Upon my arrival at the convention center, my host walked up to me and said, “So, Gary, are you ready? I’ll bet you will give the best presentation our franchisees have ever heard!”

I desperately tried to think of words that didn’t contain the letter “S.” “I know you’ll like it, Don. Letth get going.”

Thankfully, Don failed to take note of my problem.

Twenty minutes later, I was standing in the wings of the auditorium and trying to teach my tongue the fine art of placing itself in a proper position. “Come on, give me a chance,” I silently prayed. “This is my big opportunity. Can’t you listen to my mind and figure out how to pronounce the letter S?”

My tongue replied, “No, thiree, Gary. I juthe can’t.”

“And now, Gary Dobson will offer us a wonderful motivational speech. Let’s give him a warm greeting!” proclaimed a voice from the stage.

As I walked up to the podium, I continued trying to convince my tongue that it could do what was asked of it, but hope was quickly fading. I was about to make a laughing stock of myself and my dreams of becoming a professional speaker would never be realized.

I nervously stood in front of the microphone and looked out at the audience. The room was full of excited franchisees who were expecting me to offer a very dynamic motivational speech. I could see the tremendous look of anticipation in their eyes. Over the past few weeks, they had received literature that detailed my wealth of experience in the field of sales. They also read that I was a person who would delight, inspire, and thrill them with my presentation.

As I looked into their hearts, from the stage, I suddenly realized that I would give them all that they had come to hear and expect. I wouldn’t let them down. I also wouldn’t let my father down. He had always believed that I would be a fine speaker one day. He could see the raw talent within me and had helped to nurture it by critiquing the written speeches I had forwarded to him over the years.

While standing in front of the franchisees, I felt the spirit of my father resting his hand on my shoulder and saying, “You will be magnificent, Gary. You will be wonderful. Now do it. Do what you've always dreamed of doing. Your audience is waiting for you.”

I opened my mouth and said, “Good afternoon, everyone. I’m honored to be standing in front of you. This is a dream come true for me and I thank you for the invitation to speak with you.” My words sounded clear and precise and, as if by magic, my lisp had disappeared.

I went on to give a speech that thrilled my audience. Upon the conclusion of my presentation, the applause was overwhelming and I knew that, throughout the remainder of my years on this good earth, I would take to the stage many more times.

Over the past long while, I have been blessed to receive many wonderful compliments regarding my writings and speeches, but the most cherished gift has always been, “Gary, you are so very sincere and warm-hearted.” That means everything to me.

I’ve come to believe that as long as I continue to offer what is in my heart, I’ll be a good writer and speaker. That is exactly what my Dad did and I learned from the very best.

I would love to hear from you. My readers are very important to me and I answer each and every email. My contact is Gary.

You can find more articles in the archive under Reflections on a Dream