“Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you. This is very important to me and I hope you’ll be happy about what I’m going to say. I know you love me and am certain that you’ll understand.” Alexandra’s beautiful tail was held high as she raised her head and looked into her parents’ eyes with a complete sense of trust and confidence.

“All right, dear,” said her mother with as much compassion as one could possibly imagine. “Since this is going to be a family meeting, let’s get out a fresh bowl of kibble so that we have something to munch on!”

Her father sighed, “Alexandra, will this take long? I’ve been meaning to work on my retrieving skills. They aren’t up to scratch and…well, it’s my job to make sure that I’m at my best when duty calls. The man who your mother and I allowed to adopt us hasn’t been very happy with me lately. After I dropped that quail in the stream and it floated away, he seemed to be quite perturbed. Of course, I tried to go after it, but I….”

“Dad, I promise to make this very brief. I’ll say what I have to and then you can get on with your practice. Okay?”

“Oh, wuff, wuff, sigh,” responded her father as he took his place around the bowl of kibble. “Yes, that’ll be fine, but come on, Alexandra, tell us what is going on!”

“Well, I…I’ve been meaning to tell both of you about this for a long time, but had to make sure that I fully believed what has happened.” Alexandra took a drink from the water bowl and allowed the cool liquid to soothe her suddenly very dry mouth before continuing.

“Yes, Alexandra. We understand, but please get on with it,” said her father with a typical gruffness in his voice.

“Okay, I will. I might as well just cough it out. Mom and Dad, I’m a Scotch Collie, not a Labrador Retriever. Phew, there I said it!” Alexandra sat back, curled her tail around her and waited for what she assumed would be total acceptance of her confession.

“Woof, woof, ha, ha, woof, woof!” echoed her parents in total harmony. “Oh, that’s a good one, Alexandra,” chortled her father between bites of liver-flavored kibble.

Alexandra’s mother noted that her daughter’s eyes had begun to flood with tears. She turned to her husband who was now rolling on the floor in a complete abandonment of his usually sedate decorum. “Rex, I think that Alexandra is serious about this.”

“Oh come on, Priscilla, this is just too ridiculous for words. She’s a Labrador Retriever and that is that! Woof, ha, ha, woof, ha…”

“Dad, please listen to me. Don’t laugh, please understand,” cried Alexandra. “I’m a Scotch Collie. I think some people refer to my breed as a Scotch Border Collie, but it’s really the same thing and I…”

Her father let out a strong voiced growl and said, “Alexandra, don’t be so silly. You are not a Collie, Border or otherwise! Now, I’m not going to put up with this and that’s all there is to it. No daughter of mine is going to parade around thinking that she’s something she clearly isn’t. Alexandra, you’re probably just off of your feed. Perhaps I ought to see about changing dog food brands. Yes, that’ll fix you right up!”

“It hasn’t got anything to do with my diet, Dad. I know I’m a Collie and a Scotch one at that! Why can’t you see what I see? Why can’t everyone see the truth about me?”

“Now darling,” softly cooed her mother, “you don’t look like a Collie and your birth certificate states that you are a Labrador Retriever, just like us. But dear, why don’t you want to be one? Being a ‘Lab’ is a wonderful way of life! Many other breeds will look up to you and admire the wonderful talents you will be displaying when you grow up. You’ll be so popular and will fit in right where you’re supposed to.”

“And Alexandra,” said her father in a much sterner voice, “not only are you the wrong color for a Collie, but you haven’t the nose for it either. My daughter doesn’t have a long, sloping ski jump of a nose. Yours is dignified and proper. Now I want you to get this nonsense out of your head this very instant!”

Alexandra rubbed her left paw over her tear-filled eyes and then took a long drink from the water bowl. This wasn’t turning out the way she had hoped, but she wasn’t prepared to give up her dream. She was a Collie and would do all that she could to convince her parents of the truth. After all, if they didn’t believe her, who would?

“Mom and Dad, please listen! I know my nose isn’t as beautiful as a Collie’s, but that’s okay. There is nothing I can do about it. But there are some things about me that look like a Collie. I don’t weigh as much as Labrador Retrievers do and I’m taller than most of the ones I’ve seen. You see I’m built more like a Collie and that’s because I am one! It’s what my heart tells me and it never lies.”

“Well, Alexandra,” said her father in a mocking tone, “it has told you a whopper this time! Come on, kiddo! You’ve been watching your figure and that’s why you don’t weigh as much as other Labrador Retrievers do. In fact, I’ve been meaning to demand that you slip on the old feedbag a whole lot more than you have in the past. You’re too darned thin and I know what’s best for you!”

“Rex, please don’t give her a hard time about her weight. I won’t have you doing that to her. She’s just small for her age and that’s fine. She’ll grow out of it,” said Priscilla with an air of exasperation. “Now, dear, I know you’re confused, but you will be okay. Just think about the wonderful life you have ahead of you! Why, in no time at all, you’ll be retrieving game and it will be….”

“But that’s another thing, Mom, I don’t want to do that. The only game I like to think about is Dogopoly! I can’t bear the thought of hurting little birds and other things. I want to herd sheep into the safety of their pens just like Lassie does. In fact, I want to do it in Scotland, the home of my ancestors.”

“The home of your ancestors is a cold and barren place in the north called Labrador, not Scotland,” retorted her father as he bared his teeth. “You will be retrieving, not herding!”

“But I want to take care of sheep and do all the things that Collies do. Please Dad, understand what is important to….”

“Look, Alexandra, I’ve had just about enough of this. There are going to be some new rules around here, little girl! First, you will no longer be permitted to watch reruns of Lassie and I don’t want to hear you talk about anything other than game. Do you understand me! If I so much as hear you mention sheep, I’ll…I’ll…and you are to stop hanging around with the Collies in the neighborhood. I’ve never trusted those dogs anyway. Herding, what a sissy thing to do!”

“Rex, don’t you think that is much too harsh? She really likes her friends and…Alexandra, have you told any of them about your…well, condition?”

“No, Mother, I haven’t. I did finally summon up the courage to tell my friend, Daphne Dachshund, about being a Collie, but she laughed and then walked away. I was so hurt. I always knew that she was long in the body, but never thought she could be so short with her love. And I couldn’t tell the truth to my Collie friends like Sara and Peter Noseworthy. I couldn’t bear the thought of being rejected by them. I just want to be with them, not turned away.”

“Alexandra, I’ve put my paw down and that is that! You are not allowed to spend time with those herding wimps any longer. You are to push these stupid dreams of being a Collie out of your head. I’ll make you into a Labrador Retriever whether you like it or not. End of discussion.”

“Yes, Daddy, I’ll try.”

Priscilla tried to comfort her daughter and put a smile on her face, but all she heard was a mournful “MacWuff, MacWuff.”

“What in the name of Purina was that?” barked her father. “Did you say MacWuff? Oh, I swear there’ll be no more of that around here!” He turned on his paws and stormed off in a rage, his hackles spiked like a bed of nails.

During the next few months, Alexandra did all she could to try and be what was expected of her. She stopped spending time with the Noseworthys and any other Collies in the neighborhood. She hated doing so, but realized that if she were consigned to be a Labrador Retriever, being in the company of beautiful Collies would only remind her of her shattered dream.

Alexandra stopped watching Lassie reruns and even threw away a dog-eared picture of a beautiful Collie that had long been one of her most precious possessions. For as long as she could remember, Alexandra had kept the picture safely hidden under a rock in the backyard. Now, the photograph of a proud Collie gazing out over the Highlands of Scotland was gone, and she would never see it again.

When she’d eventually fall into a dream shattered sleep, coated in the loneliness of her heart, Alexandra would whimper, “MacWuff, MacWuff.” Once in awhile, her mother would hear her daughter’s mournful cries, but refused to let on to her husband that the wee lass held onto her hopes even while she slept. “Please, please,” her mother would silently pray, “don’t let this tear you apart, Alexandra.”

For a time, Alexandra tried to adapt to the ways of Labrador Retrievers, but knew she’d never meet with success. Even while practicing the art of retrieving with her father, her only thoughts were of herding sheep and guiding them to the safety of their pens. Thankfully, Alexandra was too young to go after fallen game. The terror of grasping a nearly vanquished or even dead wee bird in her jaw was too heartbreaking for her to imagine.

One evening, Alexandra was sitting in a tree-lined park while the beauty of a magnificent sunset caressed the skies above her. Even the majesty of the vista couldn’t raise Alexandra’s spirits. As she sat bathed in her despair, tears poured from her eyes, and she whispered, “Macwuff, MacWuff, MacWuff.” Alexandra knew that her dreams of living as a Scotch Collie would never be realized and her life was to be that of a Labrador Retriever. She hoped it would not be a long one.

Suddenly, she heard a very high-pitched voice saying “Hi! Why are you feeling so miserable? It’s a beautiful night and the skies are so wonderful. God, how I love the skies!”

Alexandra raised a paw to her face and tried to stop the flow of tears. When her vision finally cleared, she gazed at the figure standing in front of her. It was a cat, a very handsome cat, but one with a distinctly chirping voice. “Oh, I…well, I’m not happy and the skies aren’t cheering me up,” said Alexandra in a sorrow-filled tone.

“My dear, the skies always make me feel wonderful! In fact, that is where I spend a great deal of my time. Yes, free as a bird, that’s me! Oh, I haven’t introduced myself. Well, let me take care of that. My name is Timothy and what’s yours?”

“I’m Alexandra, Timothy, and am pleased to meet you even though I’m still so very sad. But what did you mean by ‘that is where I spend a great deal of my time?’”

“Sweet girl, I don’t think you’re ready for my explanation, but in time, I’ll tell you all about it. You need a lot of cheering up, so let’s talk for awhile and figure out how to put a smile on that face.”

“I can’t do that, Timothy. I’d like to, but you’ll only laugh at me, and anyway, shouldn’t I be chasing you? Isn’t that something else I’m supposed to do? I am a dog and, well….”

“Yes, Alexandra, if you say you are a dog, then that’s what you are, but you don’t have to do what everyone tells you to and you don’t have to be what others say you must be. I’ll get to that one a little later, but let me ask, do you want to chase me?”

“No, Timothy, I don’t. I rather like you, and the fact is that I prefer to herd…er…um, that is, well….”

“Ah, so you like herding, do you! I can see we have a lot to talk about!” chirped Timothy. “Okay, now that we’ve got the chasing thing out of the way, let’s get to know each other.”

Over the next two hours, the new friends did get to know each other, but every time Alexandra came precipitously close to telling Timothy that she was a Collie rather than a Labrador Retriever, she would change the subject. Even so, she managed to tell her friend a great deal about her life and how unhappy she had always been. She also told him with a quivering and emotion-filled voice about the picture she’d once owned of a Scotch Collie, her beautiful, cherished dream.

During their time together, Timothy had done some rather strange things for a cat. He never meowed, but did seem to sing some of his words. That wasn’t at all what cats are supposed to do. And from time to time, he would spread his paws out and almost appear to be trying to take flight whenever he spoke of his love for the skies. That was even more odd.

Finally, Timothy said, “It is time for me to fly, my dear. Let’s meet again tomorrow evening. I’d like that.”

“Oh, I would too, but I’ve got to go to obedience school tomorrow night. I’m free the next evening. Would that work for you?”

“Yes, that would be fine. I’ll meet you right here in the same place and under the same skies.”

“Oh, wonderful! MacWuff, Mac…oops, um…sorry about that. I’ve got a bit of a cough and I…,” said Alexandra as she tried to cover up what she’d accidentally said. “But Timothy, I wanted to know what you meant about spending time in the skies?”

“When next we meet, I’ll tell you all about it, Alexandra. Now you run home and I’ll see you in two nights from now.” With that, he was off.

To some it might have looked like Timothy was running through the field on his way home, but Alexandra thought that he was almost flying above the grass. “Hmm,” she thought, “perhaps he does spend time in the skies, or as close as he can get to them.”

Over the next day and a half, Alexandra felt more confident and happy than she had in a very long time. Her situation at home hadn’t changed and her father still forced her to watch programs such as “Labrador Retrievers Today,” but her spirits soared just like Timothy had seemed to do through the park. Someone had finally listened to Alexandra, even though she had refused to confess her secret. Just knowing that Timothy cared for her was a more wonderful gift than she’d ever known. Perhaps he would accept the truth about her.

This afternoon, Alexandra had said “MacWuff” in front of her mother, but of course would never have made that mistake when her father was in the same room. She knew that her mom was too kind and gentle to berate her for one simple error, especially when Alexandra had seemed so happy over the past two days.

The evening finally arrived, and as Alexandra sat in the park, she was filled with a sense of warmth and excitement that helped her to believe that life wouldn’t be so bad after all. Perhaps there was a way for her to realize her dreams and be recognized as a Collie. For some reason, she thought that Timothy might be able to help her. Maybe he would understand.

“Hi, Alexandra,” chirped Timothy as he appeared out of somewhere and nestled in beside her. “How are you feeling tonight? Gosh, the skies are beautiful, aren’t they!”

“Yes, Timothy, they are indeed. I’m feeling much better and am so happy to see you.”

“And I’m happy to have landed here, Alexandra, “said Timothy as he spread his paws apart and seemed to, once again, want to spread his….well, wings and take to the air.

“Timothy, you promised to tell me what you meant the other night when you said that you spend time in the skies. What did you mean?”

“My friend, I will tell you all that you wish to know, but first let me ask: what are you?”

“You know what I am..I…I’m a dog, Timothy, and a Labrador….”

“No, Alexandra, you’re not a Labrador Retriever. I knew you couldn’t be when you told me how much you’ve missed that beautiful picture of a Collie overlooking the Highlands of Scotland. I had never heard another living soul express such love, want, and need as you did the other night. You couldn’t possibly be anything but a magnificent Collie and that is exactly what you are, dear lady.

“I didn’t want to tell you that I knew the truth when we spoke the other night. I wanted you to wait and think about all we’d talked about and to begin believing in the honesty of our friendship.”

Alexandra began to sob as she realized that finally her secret had been accepted and her dream wasn’t tossed aside like lint. “Yes, yes, Timothy, I’m a Collie, but no one would believe me. But you do, you know what I am.”

“I do, Alexandra, because I see the beauty and truth of your heart mirrored in your eyes. That’s what really tells me who and what you are. To so many you don’t look like a Collie, but they don’t bother to look inside. They only see what they want to. I see what you want me to see. Now, look into my eyes and tell me what I am.”

Alexandra closed hers and whispered, “I’ve already looked, Timothy, and know that you are a wonderful bird, a perfect bird, and the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. Your heart is as full as the skies you so exquisitely soar through. That is what you are, Timothy.”

“Yes, Alexandra, and we’ll be friends forever. Now you must let your spirit soar and follow your heart. Live your destiny and never look back.”

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You can find more articles in the archive under Reflections on a Dream