by
Frank Hatton

I have my doubts as to whether anyone who is very young, would be interested in this column, hence it will be safe to assume that the readers are of a mature age. That being so, we may now move on to the next assumption, and that is that we have, or most of us have, felt the sweet pangs of love for another person at some time or other in our lives. It would also be a fairly safe bet to suggest that the feelings we have had at that time are equally reciprocated by our loved one, (unless of course, one is in that terrible situation of loving someone who doesn't return that love) ,and usually, minor arguments take place as to who loves who the most. I can almost see the wheels going around in your brain, and hear you saying,..."What on earth is he burbling about this month?"...... Just have a little patience friend, all will be revealed shortly. The thought has been generated by an snippet I read in the newspaper recently, it dealt with a quotation from W.H.Auden: 'If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me.'

OK, now let us dwell upon that thought for a moment !!!!! I for one would fully agree, that after one has moved on to the next stage of the situation, which would be either, to get married, or decide to live together, or whichever other form of togetherness may take place, then, although it varies from one pair of individuals to another, the first flush of love/passion begins to settle into a different type of feeling toward each other. Also, almost invariably, those feelings are seldom equal in their intensity. Actually, in some cases, the love dies away completely on one side of the partnership, and extra marital affairs, and other problems raise their ugly heads. Also of course, once two people start to live together, all of the 'boils and warts' which are not seen in that first flush of love, start to become apparent, causing those feelings to lessen, or die away completely. Accepting the point then, that one of us feels more loving than the other, and that the original balance of that love is no longer equal, we now at last come to the nub of this observation. When we are placed in the situation of unequal feelings of love, which do you, as an individual think would be preferable,.... to have the stronger of the two loves, or to have the lesser feelings? The easy way out of course, is to say that "We still love each other just as much as we always did", and while I will accept that it may be so in a very small number of cases, I am suggesting that with the majority of us, one partner loves the other more. I assure you good folk that I had to think long and hard about this choice, and having now come to my own decision,.... I now offer the subject to you. Which side of the fence do you think you would like to be on????

On to a change of subject now. I believe that it is either called 'Mothering Sunday', or, 'Mothers Day', dependent on which side of the Pond you live. Personally, I can never remember which is which. Be that as it may, we had our salutation to the mothers last weekend, and to celebrate the occasion, my son-in-law decided to cook the Sunday lunch for my daughter, and to ensure that should the culinary offering prove to be a disaster, he invited both sets of parent's along, to join in the suffering. Having never seen him inside the kitchen before, (except to run the odd glass of cold water from the tap), I tentatively asked what he intended to titillate our palates with. He confidently replied that he was making the main course, 'Baked beans on toast', and was still in the process of deciding, which starter and pudding would accompany this delicacy. With my apprehension considerably increased, I enquired whether he felt confident and capable to engage in such an undertaking. He informed me with a somewhat disdainful look, that he was not contemplating performing the task by himself, and that he was taking advice and guidance from his son, my four year old grandson Jack. In an attempt to lighten the situation, I asked if it would be possible to have some pepper on my baked beans, but, he sternly told me that he felt it was both too early, and technically inadvisable to get involved in the more complex parts of the operation. How wrong,.... how utterly and completely wrong I was to have any doubts. It was a superb lunch!!! We started with a mouth watering type of ravioli which was made from fresh pasta, with a salmon filling, this in turn covered with a special sauce he had created. Then the real surprise came with the main course. A roast lamb fillet, about four inches across, which was sliced through the centre and filled with a soft mixture of herbs and spices. Along with this was a thick roast beef steak, covered with a sort of pastry, it just melted in the mouth,... I'll spare you the full details of the accompanying vegetables, except to say that there were six differing types. All washed down with a truly magnificent red wine, and almost as a 'grand finale' we were treated to a pudding/sweet that came straight from the table of the Gods. Now, this bloke had never been near the kitchen over the nine years or so that he has been married to Lisa, my daughter,.... so, just how he managed to produce such a feast is truly beyond my imagination....... Unless of course, my grandson Jack, possesses some magical skills of which I am unaware. Please believe my gob was well and truly smacked!!

You may remember that I have been AWOL for a while, due to a problem with my hands. I am happy to report that I will shortly be having this attended to, and will return to full working order in the near future. Hence, I trust you will forgive the short measure in words on this issue.

'Til next time,
Frank Hatton

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You can find more articles in the archive under From Over the Pond