Scottish Flotsam from the Hebrides

I imagine the first question anyone will ask is what is a column called "Scottish Flotsam". I guess we will have to begin with what is "flotsam". According to the among the definitions of the word are "things washed ashore" or "miscellaneous trifles". Well, we believe you can find some great treasure on the ocean shore. But -- you will never know what you will find or its value. So we decided that is what this column is - flotsam. We wanted a place to put things that didn't fit anywhere else and might be of interest. Each item could be a column itself and might be some day but for now it will be the flotsam which washes our way.

Since we have a book review and a date that mention James VI/I lets look at an event related to him.

BAPTISM - WITH A STING IN THE TAIL

Surely the bold Bastian was pushing his luck when he ordered the satyrs to flick their tails in the faces of the Fnglish gentry at the baptism feast of the future James VI in December 1566.

This was the last outrageous act (which almost caused a fullscale rammy) on an astonishing day during which Stirling Castle witnessed pomp and pageantry as well as scheming and animosity - an appropriate start to life - for a wee fellow who was to be the controversial ruler, not only of Scotland but the United Kingdom.

Certainly, the afternoon baptism was a splendid, glittering affair and was, according to the official histories, an event 'magnificent beyond compare'. However, you have to dig a little deeper behind the public relations picture to reach the real news of the day, and there was plenty of it.

First, the ceremony approved by Mary Queen of Scots, the proud mum, was 'according to the Popish ritual', and for this reason the Protestant lords refused to perform the usual offices. Only two of the 12 earls present took any part in the proceedings. The others, it is said 'groaned at the waste and expenditure'.

Then we discover that Bothwell, now the Queen's favourite. presided, while the father, the discredited and unpopular Henry Damley, although in the castle, failed to make an appearance. It is suggested that to prevent his attendance the 'dress, ornaments and servants' essential for such an occasion had been withheld from him.

Someone then put a right damper on the jollifications by informing the company that a poor man with a child on his knee was sitting at the castle gate. The child's head was so large (possibly from hydrocephalus) that its body could scarcely bear the weight. The Reformers nodded knowingly at this all-too-clear omen.

Then Bastian got to work. A French servant of Mary's, his job was to coach the team disguised as satyrs (lusty half-goat, hall men) who accompanied a procession into the banqueting hall. When the satyrs wagged their tails with their hands in the faces of the English guests, the visitors had what can only be described as wee bad turn. Indignantly, they retired behind their table, feeling insulted, and staged an impromptu sit-down strike, their backs to the entertainment. Hutton, one of Queen Elizabeth's squad, was all for giving Bastian a seeing-to, and sharp knives were mentioned. It was left to Queen Mary and the Earl of Bedford to calm things down. If there's a livelier baptism in Scottish history I want to hear about.

What are some of the events that occurred in December.

521 - Dec. 7
Saint Columba of Iona, the apostle of the Scottish Highlands, was born. Missionaries from his island monastery travelled as far afield as Itay, Switzerland and Germany.

1635 - Dec. 13
Worst snowstorm experienced in Scotland in 60 years began; intense frost lasted four months, and the Tay was frozen over at Perth for four weeks and hundreds of thousands of sheep died.

1599 - Dec. 17
James VI decided that Scotland should come into line with other 'well governit commonwealths' like France and have New Year's Day on 1 January instead of 25 March.

1955 - Dec. 25
A group of Scots students reclaimed the Stone of Scone, the Scots Coronation Stone, from Westminster Abbey. It had been carted off by Edward I in 1296.

1734 - Dec. 28
Rob Roy MacGregor, outlaw, Highland gentlemen, stuff of legend, died at Balquhidder in Perthshire, aged 74.

Source - Scotching the Myths by Jim Hewiston can be found in the History Book Section of Scottish Radiance.

It is time to stop combing the library but we can not quit without some quotes from Quotable Scots another great History bookshelf resident. Lets see what quotes we can find!

PLEASURE

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as messing about in boats.
Kenneth Grahame (1859-1932), writer, The Wind in the Willows, 1908

Nine years ago, when half an hour into the New Year I fell in love with the man I'm married to.
Liz Lochhead, poet, writer and actress, remembering her best year, Guardian, 1994

I found a party with a young and vigorous outlook and I thought that I could work with them.
Ian Hamilton, QC, on re-joining the SNP

For several days after my first book was published I carried it about in my pocket, and took surreptitious peeps at it to make sure the ink had not faded.
J.M. Barrie

I play every game as if it was my last. That's why I enjoy it so much.
Mark Hateley, Rangers footballer

You can find more articles in the archive under Scottish Flotsam.

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