Scottish Flotsam from the Hebrides

I imagine the first question anyone will ask is what is a column called "Scottish Flotsam". I guess we will have to begin with what is "flotsam". According to the dictionary a couple of the definitions of the word are "things washed ashore" or "miscellaneous trifles". Well, we believe you can find some great treasure on the ocean shore. But -- you will never know what you will find or its value. So we decided that is what this column is - flotsam. We wanted a place to put things that didn't fit anywhere else and might be of interest. Each item could be a column to itself and might be some day but for now it will be the flotsam which washes our way.

HAUNTING OF A HAPLESS KING

If you are in search of the most public haunting in the annals of Scotland, I think you must steer your astral self back almost 500 years in the direction of St Michael's Church in Linlithgow. In August 1513 James IV against the wishes of his council, had called together a vast army and was in the West Lothian town preparing for a military campaign against England. He is said to have been in a sad and thoughtful mood, heavily involved in religious rites and observances, as was the custom for a commander at that time. He was probably reflecting not only on the coming conflict but on the murder of his father at nearby Sauchieburn, the anniversary of which had just passed. A few days before the army was to move south, the king was in St Michael's at evensong, surrounded by his lords, when an elderly, grave-looking figure, clothed in a blue gown, wearing sandals and carrying a staff, made his way through the throng of nobles calling loudly for the king. Without any sign of reverence or respect for the monarch, this apostolic figure with a bald forehead and long, straggling locks flowing to his shoulders, bent over and addressed the king. The warning was this; 'Thou wilt not fare well in the journey, nor any that passeth with thee'. He was further cautioned about meddling with women or he would be 'confounded and brought to shame'. While the king pondered a reply this strange visitor vanished 'as if he had been a blink of sun or a whip of a whirlwind'. The incident was confirmed by scores of witnesses, including Sir David Lindsay of the Mount and Sir James Inglis, who tried tc collar the 'saint' but were defeated by his miraculous disappearance. Although Peter Underwood in his gazetteer of Scottish ghosts describes the Linlithgow affair as 'one of the best authenticated instances of a purposeful apparition', the general view of historians is that it was a 'solemn, admonitory masquerade' Having failed by more orthodox means to persuade James against the adventure south, his queen is thought, with the aid of his closest nobles, to have engineered this bizarre incident. Of course, history tells us that James was not to be swayed. It's worth noting, however, that after crossing the Tweed the Scots army took some small castles. At Ford the king found Lady Heron, a woman of remarkable beauty, whose husband at the time was a prisoner in Scotland. The king dallied awhile with Mrs Heron and, as a result, dispirited Scots soldiers started to drift away from the camp. An army which had crossed into England, perhaps more than 60,000 strong, was reduced by half. His meddling with women l indeed 'confounded' him and most assuredly he and his fellow Scots were not to 'fare well' on the bloody field of Flodden.

Source - Scotching the Myths by Jim Hewiston can be found in the History Book Section of Scottish Radiance.

It is time to stop combing the library but we can not quit without some quotes from Quotable Scots another great bookshelf resident. Since we have column about Customs lets see what quotes we can find.

Custom

Custom, then, is the great guide of human life.
David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, 1758

Where beats the heart so kindly as beneath the tartan plaid.
William Edmonstoune Aytoun (1818-65), poet and humorist, of Prince Charles Edward Stuart at Versailles 1849

A good breakfast, as usual in Scotland, with findon haddocks, eggs, sweetmeats and honey.
Robert Southey, Journal of a Tour in Scotland in 1819

Unsuitable for a little Scot, I had to wear some slimy green pants under my kilt.
Sir Nicholas Fairbairn

An English tea-party - you are offered a piece of bread and butter that feels like a damp handkerchief and sometimes, when cucumber is added to it, like a wet one.
Sir Compton MacKenzie

The Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.
Saki (H.H. Munro), Reginald in Russia

I am not yet Scotchman enough to relish their singed sheeps' heads and haggis... Tobias Smollett

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!
Robert Burns, 'To a Haggis'

The Plaid itself gives pleasure to the sight,
To see how all its sets imbibe the light;
Forming some way, which even to me lies hid,
White, black, blue, yellow, purple, green, and red.
Allan Ramsay (c. 1685-1758), poet, Tartana, 1718

You can find more articles in the archive under Scottish Flotsam.

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